The Hardships of Menstruation
by TomatoBoxFairyGodmother
Summary: Every girl knows how much it sucks to be on your period, but what happens when the Hetalia men try to help make it better? Each chapter involves a symptom that many women have while on the rag and different Hetalia men trying to help the reader in their own way. Really random but I thought it'd be funny and cute. Enjoy! /ReaderxVarious, Self-insert/
1. Bloating

A frustrated cry was heard throughout the Jones' household, startling both Alfred and yourself.

Too bad _you_ were the cause of the noise.

You stood in the middle of your room with your head hung, your fingers prying desperately upon the buttons of your jeans. It was no use. They wouldn't button! Hell, they didn't even zip up for that matter.

Tears of frustration pricked at the corner of your eyes and you just about ripped the jeans off your body that very moment if it wasn't for Alfred's head popping in the room. Your American boyfriend, looking much like a child scared to ask a question, opened his mouth to speak but was caught off when a hairbrush was thrown his way.

Deeming it was safe after a long while, he cautiously walked into the room, very much aware that it was that lovely time of the month for you.

"Uh..Hey babe! What's the matter?"

You said nothing, instead you just plopped down on the bed in the middle of the room in a depressed manner. Pressing your face into the mattress, you began to speak. "My jeans don't fit me anymore."

Alfred ducked his head towards you in an attempt to hear some of your muffled words before sitting down beside you. He seemed confused at first before his expression simply dissolved into astonishment.

"I heard of chicks getting bloated when they're on their..." He paused, mumbling over menstruation by coughing into his hand. "But _why_ do you get bloated?" He suddenly gasped as he made a startling realization. "Is all that bloating in your belly the blood that didn't come out yet?!"

You picked your head up just to stare at him. Instead of wasting your breath on explaining the whole process of menstrual bloating, you simply just shook your head.

His shoulders slumped a bit and he began to ponder something. "So..You're upset that your jeans don't fit you, right?"

You nodded your head, slowly pushing yourself into a sitting position.

He began to look excited and quickly hopped off the bed, crouching down beside the night table and opened up the drawer. Stuffing his hand inside for a while, he finally pulled out a package as if it was treasure and stood up. Presenting it to you, he seemed so proud but you weren't sure why.

"What is it?" you questioned, taking the unopened package in your hands.

"The Perfect Fit Button!" he exclaimed, as if it was common knowledge. "You know, they sell it on T.V."

"The Perfect Fit Button?" you murmured, testing out the name on your tongue. "I don't..What's this for?"

He seemed exasperated, clearly impatient that you weren't catching on. He turned the package in your hands to the back so you could see the pictures and instructions. "You attach the button to your jeans to give them a perfect fit that's just right for you, and you can wear your jeans again!"

You blinked as it was now your turn to be astonished.

Opening the package, you carefully extracted one of the buttons and focused intently as you got the hang of attaching the button to your jeans. After clipping the front and back button together, you swallowed slightly and tried to zip up your jeans.

It worked!

Your fingers effortlessly buttoned your jeans together and you found yourself gazing at Alfred with such wonderment, he probably felt like the president.

"Alfred, this is amazing!"

He gave a cheeky grin, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing. "Yeah, I know. Plus, once you're done being bloated, you can just go back to using your old button!"

Your eyes rose towards your hairline. He was definitely smarter than he looked. You wrapped your arms around his middle in gratitude. "Why'd you buy those buttons in the first place?"

He gave a somewhat nervous chuckle. "I just thought they'd be a good idea to buy. If I ever went a little _too_ wild at McDonald's, at least I could still wear my favorite pair of pants!"

So that's how he's been wearing the same pants for two years without having to get bigger sizes after eating all that fast food..

Typical.

Oh well, why complain? He helped you out in the end and that's all that matters.

"Thanks, Al."


	2. Mood Swings

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance as they searched through the fridge for the fifth time, as if what you wanted was going to appear each time you opened the refrigerator door. Shaking your head in disbelief, you found yourself about ready to explode. "..No...No chocolate? We don't have chocolate? What..What household doesn't have chocolate?!"

Muttering a curse fiercely under your breath, you slammed the refrigerator door without a second thought and slumped down in a chair.

That was just unexceptionable.

Meanwhile, your Canadian boyfriend stood outside the kitchen door with concern, wanting to check if you were alright, but feelings of nervousness kept him back. He knew that your emotions went a bit haywire at this time of the month, so he made sure to practically tip-toe around you for a week. He knew he had to comfort you this time, or at least try, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to become a human target.

Releasing a sigh and putting on a brave face, he silently said a few prayers and padded into the kitchen. Clearing his throat so you knew he was behind you, he took a seat next to you at the table. "..Is everything okay?"

Snapping your gaze over to Mathew, you began to glare at the poor man as if it was _his_ fault. "We don't have chocolate!" you exclaimed. "What kind of messed up people are we?! How can we _not _have any chocolate in this house? I searched everywhere! The refrigerator, the cupboards, the pantry..NOTHING!"

Mathew visibly flinched as you ranted, completely unsure on what to do. When you finally fell silent, he could only release a nervous laugh while he rubbed the back of his neck with his palm. "O-oh? No chocolate, eh? That _is_ a bit strange."

"Strange? It's outright an atrocity!" you cried, jumping into a standing position as your hand slapped the table.

The blonde at the table jumped once more, his eyes wide as saucers as he desperately tried to find _anything_ to say. "W-well," he paused, standing up as well so he could be eye level with you. "How about I make you some pancakes? That might get your mind off the..C word."

You simply stared at him for a good while until your expression finally softened. The poor thing just wanted to make you happy, heck he didn't even say the word chocolate so you wouldn't get angry, and here you were..Yelling at him like some tyrant.

Guilt began to settle in the pit of your stomach then and you began to wring your hands like a child who got caught red handed. "Mat.."

Your voice suddenly cracked and you sniffed. And then sniffed once more. And then sniffed _again_.

The Canadian began to panic as he saw what was about to happen, not sure whether to run around screaming while pulling at his hair or just try to figure out why you were on the brink of tears so suddenly.

Of course, he chose the latter and quickly sat you down at the table once more. "D-don't cry! I'm sorry. I won't make pancakes if you don't want them!"

That only served to push you over the edge and you started to cry. He thought _he_ was the reason you were tearing up! Sometimes that boy was too much for you.

"N-no!" you sobbed, wiping at your eyes. "_I've_ treated you so terribly and-"

He shook his head quickly, flashing you a smile to show he was fine. "Don't worry, I understand that you're not feeling like yourself right now," he began. "Now just calm down for me, okay? I'll make you pancakes like I said I would."

You nodded, giving him a grateful grin as you sniffed. "Thank you. You're too sweet."

He flashed you a smile of his own and went off to gather some ingredients for the pancakes.

You, on the other hand, sighed contently and propped your chin in your palm. Watching him bustle around the kitchen calmed you down and you felt that your mood swings were under control now.

Meanwhile, Mathew was whistling a happy little tune as he opened the refrigerator to get out some milk. Suddenly, as if he was in slow motion, his whistling began to die down and he went rigid.

Noticing his change in demeanor, you rose an eyebrow. "Mathew? What's wrong?"

The blonde swallowed, his eyes narrowing as he adjusted his glasses and focused on something in the fridge.

_A chocolate bar. _

He picked his head up slowly towards you and hesitated ever so slightly. "..Y-you said you checked the refrigerator for chocolate, right?"

You nodded your head, flashing him a curious look. "Yes. Five times."

"..." Mathew's expression deadpanned. How did you miss seeing a chocolate bar _five _times? He slowly straightened up and looked at you once more.

You slowly stood up from the table and furrowed your eyebrows. "Why?"

"Eh...Well...You see," the Canadian began, wringing his hands nervously as he didn't know if you were going to explode or start crying if he told you.

You frowned in concern, expecting something absolutely horrible to be displayed inside the fridge as you approached your boyfriend and the refrigerator.

Bending down slightly, you peered inside and didn't see anything that horrible..Until something caught your eye.

"A chocolate bar!" you exclaimed, whirling around to stare at Mathew with surprise. "But...I checked the fridge.._Five_..Times," you murmured in astonishment, slowly trailing off.

Mathew simply shook his head with caution, seeming just as taken-aback as you were, though he didn't want to risk upsetting you so he remained quiet.

Suddenly, you wrapped your arms around him with such sheer happiness that an onlooker would've thought the two of you one the lottery. "You must be good luck!" you cried. "All it took was one look from you and you found a chocolate bar!"

Unbeknownst to you, the Canadian was releasing a sigh of relief, feeling as though he just dodged a hockey puck. That went better than expected.

He was glad that you were happy, yes, but he also couldn't help but think silently to himself. _Who would've known chocolate could upset someone so much only to make them the happiest person on Earth.._


End file.
